First I want to start out with this fact: I really do miss all of my BFF’s at Big Blue Box – you know who you are – the EBR team, the IT Gov Ops team, the HCC group circa 2012-14, The entire OMS team, the RRD Core team and exec sponsors – the list goes on and on. I miss you all and your cheery smiles across the hub, and your snarky comments about hanging out in my “office” at Sandy’s.  I feel the same way about my old RFC coworkers – even though we haven’t seen each other in years, I still feel so very closely connected to you –

there is something about the concept at Best Friends at Work that matters. I feel like I’ve made dozens of BFAW’s over the years and I am thankful for tools like facebook to help us stay in touch.

I’m now facing a new reality – speed dating strangers. Ok – I’m not romantically dating as I love my darling husband to pieces. Nope – I mean I’m meeting strangers every single day and building potential work relationships within the time it takes to consume ¾ of a cup of coffee. Sometimes it’s a one on one meeting where we swap stories about our business. Sometimes it’s in a structured group.  Sometimes it is a “one cup stand” – networking to say you did it, then never connect again (for whatever reason). Sometimes I can tell that there will be another conversation and maybe a potential work relationship. Sometimes it feels like there’s more of a connection that can transcend a client/provider relationship to something more like a friend.

I’m pretty transparent about the fact that I test out as an Introvert in the Myers-Briggs tool. Because of the career and hobby choices I’ve made, I’ve had to develop Extrovert skills. But honestly,  in any situation where I don’t need to have the “E” button flipped on, I’m happy to sit by myself and be quiet.  When I started this adventure, I knew that I would be pushing my boundaries in this manner – many articles and perhaps chapters of books have been written about “Networking as an Introvert”.  I have found my own methodology – crafted in my early career of working in a cut-throat banking environment in the 80’s, honed while working in the “always making a deal” mortgage banking world of the 90’s and truly tested in the community while representing a Fortune 100 company at various charitable and public events in the rocky 00’s.  By the time I started consulting in 2010, I had a sharp handshake, a genuine smile and a sparkle in my eye when I walked into a room of strangers. And I still have that… but again, if I had a choice, I’d sit in a corner and have a meaningful one on one conversation.

So now – I’m out here – connecting with people whom I never would have met in any other situation. Yesterday was a great example. I recently joined a local chamber of commerce, (Go TwinWest! ) and I was strongly encouraged to join a networking/referral group that they had starting up.  I arrived at the meeting – sat down and assessed the group. Generally younger than me and very keen on driving success. The mood was light hearted leaning toward  mildly snarky, which I enjoy. We did some brainstorming, made some decisions about how the group would work and ajourned.  I have to admit, I left in a bit of shell shock that a group of (mostly) strangers could get together and make progress like this in a 45-minute encounter.

Granted, my comparison point is coming from large corporate environments. Everyone knows each other, has already pre-scripted how the meeting is going to turn out, and well if we were meeting about it, there must be some kind of disagreement already, because otherwise, the decisions would have already been made.  I’ve gone on record that one of the reasons why I leave a company is because “I’m tired of sitting around the same table, with the same people and hear the same arguments, year over year”. I get frustrated with the predetermined destiny mindset so prevalent in large organizations.

So here’s the question I’m pondering right now – Do long lasting relationships actually limit opportunity and drive mediocrity? If so, then how do we disrupt these relationships to make them effective, but keep them close?  How do I take that consideration into my business model – if I prefer to have deep/meaningful relationships with the people I work with, how do I prevent drifting into complacency?

It’s an odd spot to be in, because I can actually choose a path to answer this question, rather than be forced into a model. I can modify my own behavior to get the right mix – I just need to figure it out. Perhaps I need to go sit quietly in a corner and think about it.  Drat!  –  it’s time for me to go meet someone and see if we can persuade them to join a group. Guess I’ll leave the sitting in a corner for another day!